Hiatus.

[J-MACHine]

Yeah, i'm not going to be posting anything for a bit, for a couple of reasons. One being that my 3.5mm-to-Male-Audio jack has broken, and another being i'm going through a serious spot of self doubt at the moment. I won't bother you with the details and i'll sum it up as "I think i'm crap and should really stop bothering because nobody likes what i'm doing". I go through these phases a lot, so it'll pass by eventually, but in the meantime, bear with me on that one. The aformentioned problems with recording, however, is the main issue here.

I will eventually get back to posting stuff when circumstances better themselves, but in the meantime, i'll be a bit dead around here. I'm not sure how long this temporary hiatus will be.

[.:DJ Droppin:.]

Damn... Sorry to hear about the jack being broken. I too would be in a cruddy mood about that. I hope you can get one really soon. They are inexpensive, so that is nice at least. As far as thinking you are crap and having self doubt, don't.... You are no different than me or anyone else. You're a part of TIMGUL, a piece of it. Your style/sound is very creative and really unlike other artists. You add versatility to the Forum. Hopefully your break is a short one.

Take it easy.

[Casper AudioGhost]

hi j-sorry to hear about the problems you are having-but never for a minute let yourself think your music is not valid-your music is fantastic and in the end remember your music is your legacy-it may not get attention right this second but as long as it stands -a part of your heart and soul remains to inspire that one person who need to hear it-in the end all the attention and praise in the world do not equal the power of one song to make some one feel your intent-the music is personal and for anyone to share it with us s a gift-i wish u peace and hope that u can progress and fix your stuff-ur an extremely talented musician j-don't give up      casper

[RSCONCEPTIONS©]

J, really feel yourself doubt mate and I hope it eases soon, and from the way you describe it it could well be something deeper than just "I feel a bit sucky about my music", but I would like to say:

You know what I think of your music, I've sent you PM's saying so and also asking if you would like to swap creativity over MSN but I heard nothing back. That is fine and I understand that, but I guess what I am saying is - please don't project your self doubt onto US guys. We love your music and I personally feel that your music inspires me in my own. Your presence on this board is one reason why I made the VARIETASM thread.

Take care dude and I hope you feel better soon!

Rik

[J-MACHine]

Still feeling a bit crap, but at the very least the main problem is sorted. The Jack i ordered arrived today. ... One hell of a lot earlier then i actually though it was going too. It's actually a decent length one this time as well, like my first one; the pitiful shortness of the last Jack's lead was one of the reasons it wound up breaking so easily (the thing used to stretch from the PSOne over to the front of my computer tower by running across the legspace area on my computer desk, leading to me and others knocking it and more often then not accidentally yanking it out).

Once again, i can't really fully express how thankful i am that you people do care. Don't get me wrong, as i've said before these spates of self doubt are common and have been going on for YEARS (a sad side effect of having literally zero self confidence in not just my music, but anything i do), so by this point is something i've just come to live with, and attempt to ignore, but it goes without saying the support that you lot and others do give me, no matter how little, always manages to help. I know i shouldn't complain about the lack of attention i get, because, really, that's just being childish, and the only times when it really botheres me are when i get the nagging doubt in the back of my head saying "what if you're just comming off as that one annoying guy on the forum that keeps putting his stuff up, blissfully unaware that everybody speaks about him behind his back, about how annoying and untalented he is." I am FULLY AWARE it's bullshit, but the thought alone, when i'm having a spate of the Downers, is enough to make me feel worse.
The TL;DR version of the above is pretty much "I apologise for being such a whiny little bitch, it comes from having no confidence, and it only really ever bothers me once in a blue moon, and the phase passes almost as sudden as it sets in."

Also, RSCONCEPTIONS, i'm going to be honest, i could swear i didn't get a PM asking about MSN. I didn't reply to the others because, really, i didn't know what to say back. The words were kind and i apritiate that, but back then- and still now- i am at a loss for how to reply. Regardless, i will add you over MSN. I've been meaning to add a few people from this place over MSN, but i haven't really gotten around to it yet, with the exception of DJEddy, i THINK.

EDIT: RSCONCEPTIONS, you're right, you DID mention something about MSN in the very first PM you sent. My error, i must have completely skipped over it the first time i read it, somehow.

[RSCONCEPTIONS©]

I cannot speak for others but, I understand psychology to an extent and I fully understand how even the most unrealistic and irrational of fears/thoughts/feeligns can still feel so real and can affect people. So of course you fear that you are not liked and that your music is rubbish. Even though, in reality, this is not true.

This is part and parcel of self doubt.

However I know that, if you did take a hiatus, we would all welcome you back with open arms when you choose to return.
I love your music and think it is not just "good", but unique, inspiring and magical.
Do what is right for you, but know that you and your music are valued here.

I understand you did not know what to say back - that is cool
Feel free to add me to MSN, and please call me Rik